


Star Vs The Forces of Evil

by AsheCorinthos



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Angst, Best Friends, Canon - Cartoon, Character Death, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Feels, Fantasy, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Growth, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Novelization, Personal Growth, Romance, Teenagers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsheCorinthos/pseuds/AsheCorinthos
Summary: "I'm a magical princess from another dimension!"—Star Butterfly receives a powerful heirloom on her 14th birthday, and when she can't handle it, is sent to Earth to master its power... and meets Marco Diaz, a normal 'safe' teenager who becomes her partner in crime. What journey and dangers lay in store for them?(SVTFOE Novelization)
Relationships: Marco Diaz/Jackie Lynn Thomas, Marco Diaz/Janna Ordonia, Star Butterfly/Marco Diaz, Star Butterfly/Tom Lucitor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	1. Star Comes To Earth

_Far, far away, in a magical land called Mewni, there lived a princess—_

_Star Butterfly._

_(That's me!)_

_Some people have called me reckless and irresponsible, just because I fight monsters and tame wild unicorns._

_(I've never seen anything wrong with that!)_

_I like to have fun! And today I'm about to have a whole lot more, because today... is my fourteenth birthday!_

_And, according to tradition, my mom (the Queen)_ _has_ _to bestow upon me our greatest family heirloom;_

_The Royal Magic Wand!_

**.x.X.x.**

The disapproving looks on her parents' faces goes completely unnoticed by the blonde princess.

The grand hall of the castle is- well, _was_ \- filled to the brim with the audience of the day, before Star had rode in on her new favorite unicorn. Crashing in to make an entrance is kinda her thing, and you'd think the people would be used to her making a dramatic show now and then. Then again, she _did_ make a rather large hole in the castle doorway. (And behind her parent's thrones as the unicorn made its exit, but who cares about that?)

But none of that matters, because her eyes are glued to one thing and one thing only:

_The Royal Magic Wand._

Shining, splendid, absolutely the _coolest thing ever._ With centuries upon centuries of BUtterfly power stored in the glimmering wand, just the thought of holding it in her hands sends her reeling with excitement.

The thin gold wand is gripped tight in her mother's gloved hands, the heart-shaped gem at the top matching the aqua blue of her dress and hair. It's honestly the prettiest thing she's ever seen, and she's chomping at the bit to get her mitts on it. She can barely contain herself from yanking the wand out of her mom's hand right then and there.

"Now, Star," Queen Moon begins, her regal expression staring down at her exuberant daughter. "This wand is a _big_ responsibility."

"Yeah!" Star gasps, not actually listening. Her hands stretch forward toward the wand, but her mother keeps it just out of her reach.

"If it falls into the hands of Evil Forces, the universe could be destroyed!" The tone of exasperation goes completely over the girl's head, even as the Queen wags a finger at her.

Lunging forward in the next instant, Star finally snags the wand from her mother's clutches, holding it against her chest. Her smile is as wide as ever as she admires the object, sparkles lighting up in her blue irises. A near-maniacal laugh leaves her with glee.

Holding it out so that the blue gem catches the light, her body flutters with even more excitement as the wand begins to glow, flashing bright white and pink for a moment in her palm. It feels warm against her skin, and right before her eyes it changes shape.

The ornate gold of the wand transforms to a radical pastel pink, and the sapphire heart gem melts into a round angel-winged orb with a glittering star-shaped jewel embedded in the center of a deep blue base. A cute little crown adorns the top and a mini blue butterfly sits underneath the hilt.

A huge exhale of pure adoration leaves her in that instant. All generations of the Butterfly line had their own wand before, as it melded to the shape desired by the soul of its user, and hers was absolutely perfect; the _cutest thing in the history of ever!_

Meeting the gaze of her extremely worried parents, Star shrugs her shoulders and waves a hand dismissively at them. Obviously they were doubting her already, but she'd show them.

"Don't worry, Mom," she chuckles, already enamored by the power held right in her own hands.

"I can handle it!"

**.x.X.x.**

In the span of about three and a half hours after that, Queen Moon and King River were left, exhausted, at the top of their (semi-burning) castle, while their desecrated kingdom fell apart around them.

Exchanging a glance, they already knew, considering the trial of butterflies and rainbows leading the destruction.

In unison, the two turned to one another.

"...She can't handle it."

**.x.X.x.**

" _Nooooooooooo!_ I can be good! _Please!_ "

Sobbing into her mother's skirt, Star grips tight to the pristine fabric, fat tears rolling down her heart-covered cheeks.

The very next day after her parents had finally gotten things back in order, they had given her the awful, terrible news— that she would be _sent away_. She'd been crying at them ever since, her weeping able to be heard probably miles away throughout Mewni.

She can't help it. She knows what happens to princesses that don't _follow the rules_. She's heard the horrible stories, the flittering whispers of the dreaded fates that awaited those princesses. No, no, no way, no way-!

"Don't send me to St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses!" she blubbers.

The mental picture of the horrible, shadowy castle filled with monsters and perfect posture and table etiquette haunt her nightmares. She can already see herself being being forced to hold out a pinky every time she sips out of a tea cup and—

"Sweetheart, we're not sending you there," King River laughs, pointing a finger for a nearby servant carrying a box of her luggage to her carriage.

Star instantly perks up, and jumps to her feet, a smile already at the ready.

"Oh," she says, totally relieved.

" _Yet,_ " Moon responds, casting a look at her daughter and watching the girl's expression fall again.

"We're sending you to train in a safer dimension," River says, his gruff voice still warm as he addresses her, smiling through his thick blond beard. "A place called _Earth_."

Star blinks at them a few times, not quite sure she heard them correctly.

"... _Urth_?" she echoes with confusion.

Her parents are already walking away from her, however, approaching her readied carriage while she unwillingly trails behind them. Her fingers twiddle around the handle of her wand as her father calls out.

"Manfred!" he bellows, and a stout younger butler straightens up instantly. "Open the portal!"

With a curt nod, the man turns around, and reaches into his pocket, withdrawing a pair of sea-green bejeweled scissors. With a swift movement, he begins cutting through the air as if it were nothing but thin parchment, creating a glowing, fluttering line of magic in the air. Once he's opened up enough space, he dips his hands into the shimmering line and pulls it apart like curtains, ripping it wide enough that the carriage can fit through.

At the same time, she is ushered up into the carriage, and she settles down onto the heavily cushioned seat with a heavy heart. Her parents get comfortable as well, but she looks out onto the world she's grown to know and love through her fourteen years. All the fun times she's had so far run through her memory, and a sense of gloom washes over her.

"Goodbye, Mewni," she murmurs, propping her face up into her hands as they cross the barrier threshold.

_Well, whatever this 'Urth' is… It can't be that bad, can it?_

Unbeknownst to her, just beyond her vision, a deep, rumbling laugh follows her as she vanishes into the new dimension.

**.x.X.x.**

… _Echo Creek Academy._

Queen Moon and King River stand imposingly in the center of the room titled the 'Principal's Office'. Their elaborately designed outfits stand out garishly in the dull brown tones of the furniture within, both choosing to stand at the forefront of the desk, while a balding man in a swivel chair clasps his hands under his chin and eyes them with beady black pupils.

His receding hairline and pudgy cheeks make him look a bit like a were-hamster, Star decides, giving him a curious glance from behind her parents, before becoming distracted by the various wall decorations.

 _This place has such boring stuff,_ she makes a face, noticing an oddly shaped thing embedded in the wall. _Well, kinda boring…_

While she inspects it, the conversations floats over to her ears from the other side of the room.

"So, you say you're from another dimension," the balding man drawls with a raised brow.

Unable to help herself, Star grips the weird thing between her thumb and forefinger, and bends it the opposite direction— discovering the light above their heads must be connected to it as it goes off. Another flick, and it's back on. Her grin is huge as she observes her parents looking back at her questioningly.

"And you said there was no magic on Earth," Star says half-accusingly, and ignores the huff of air her mother responds with before returning to her meeting.

"...Yeah," the man at the desk says with an odd look, before reaching up and readjusting the collar of his graying suit jacket. "This… isn't gonna work."

In the next instant with a small gust of sapphire colored air, a chest appears in River's hands, and he luxuriously opens it in front of the Principal, revealing a miniscule sum of gold and jewels glittering with polish inside. The instant the Principal lays his eyes on it, his entire expression changes. You can practically see the money signs appear into his eyes.

"...She is gonna _love it here!_ " He exclaims with vigor, throwing his hands into the air with an over-eager gesture and immediately discarding his previous displeasure.

 _Awww, yeah. Already lovin' it,_ Star grins, continuing to play with the odd light changer.

River, glancing back at his daughter and then at his wife, turns to the man eying the chest with the eyes of a predator. His mouth sets into a line, already sensing the handful of what they're about to unleash onto the school.

"...She is going to need a _guide._ "

**.x.X.x.**

"Marco Diaz to the principal's office. _Marco Diaz_ to the principal's office!"

Pausing mid-answer on his math test, the fourteen year-old brunet boy blinks a few times, not quite sure he's hearing what he thinks he's hearing. In fact, it has to be a dream, right?

That's the only explanation to why he just heard _his_ name on the intercom. Marco is literally never called to the office. In fact, sometimes he forgets what the principal even _looks_ like.

_No way…!_

Glancing around at his fellow classmates, his brown eyes glitter with a thought, and after pushing his chair back and letting his pencil rest (not too close to the edge) on his desk, he brushes back his brown hair and stands up languidly.

"Ooooh," he plays up, pointing a thumb at himself. "Looks like someone's in _trooouuuble."_

At the resounding silence of the class, he walks up to the front of the room, as the bored-looking Ms. Skullnick simply purses her lips at him from where she sits painting her toenails. With his hands behind his red hoodie, he casts a gleaming smile at everyone, especially to one special person toward the back.

"Sooo, I guess everyone who named me 'Safest Kid' must be feeling _pretty embarrassed_ right about now," he says triumphantly, relishing the looks on their faces.

_I always hated that stupid title anyways. I can totally use this to wipe that out of my future._

Even still he approaches Skullnick (trying to maintain his swagger so that the others can't see his nervousness) and, trying to play it cool, leans over so that the redheaded woman is the only one who can hear him whisper.

"Uh, do I need a hall pass?" he asks in a quiet tone.

He's met with a scalding glare from the wrinkled woman, and her bellowing voice echoes through the room, causing a few of the students to jump in their seats.

"Would you just _go_ already?!"

Flinching away from her, the boy pretty much runs out of the classroom and down the hall. The air is almost sweltering but his hoodie continues to stay cool and comfortable against his olive skin.

_I wonder what the principal wants with me anyways. Since I've never been called out of class before, this is kinda weird…_

The puzzled thoughts pour through his head, but he pushes through them and decides to go with the flow. He's not the Safe Kid after all, so whatever the principal dishes him, he can _totally_ take it.

Weirdly enough, though, he happens to run into the man himself on the way to his office. The stout man is pretty much drooling over some wooden chest in his chubby hands. Upon spotting the boy approaching, his eyes light up behind his thick square-rimmed glasses.

"Marco!" he greets enthusiastically.

Feeling pretty pleased, Marco strides up to the man, a smooth smile on his lips. Judging from the man's mannerisms, he's not mad about anything. Heck, maybe he's going to reward him for perfect attendance or something?

With a heavy grin, Principal Skeeves throws out a hand in a random direction. "Marco, I want you to meet our new foreign exchange student, Star Butterfly!"

Following the direction the man had pointed, Marco finally catches sight of the other person a few feet away at the water fountain.

A girl with long, blonde hair to her knees, wearing a pink headband with little horns protruding from it. Her dress is a light sea-foam green and the cuffs of her short sleeves are white frilled to match the hem of her skirt. Her slender legs are fitted into striped pink and orange thigh highs, completed by deep mauve boots with little horns on the toes. A star purse with a thin strap sits at her waist, and her bright alabaster cheeks are laden with pink heart tattoos.

With disbelief, he stares at her as her thin fingers play with the spigot, pressing the button and allowing water to gush out. The girl's blue eyes turn super wide, and she jumps back with a war cry, her toy wand thing in her right hand wielded like a sword as if she's about to bash it to bits.

His mouth falls open. He can't believe what he's seeing.

"... _Huh_?" he chokes, staring at the principal as if the man has grown two heads.

"I need a responsible, never-take-chances type to keep an eye on her," Skeeves proclaims as he wipes his glasses off on his lapel. He then reaches out, clapping his meaty palm against the boy's shoulder in an excessively friendly way.

"And who better than you? The _Safe Kid_!"

Marco's outrage almost pours out of him in an instant, and he's quick to wave his hands in denial.

"What?! Oh no, no no no, I am _completely wrong_ for this! I'm- I'm a misunderstood bad boy!' he tried to defend, but the man only laughs in response, reaching out to playfully tug at his cheek like a doting parent.

"You're _adorable!_ Now I'm off to the ice cream shop. Daddy's getting all 52 flavors!"

Skeeves' laughter follows him as he strides away, and Marco's eyes roll almost to the back of his head, a loud sigh escaping him. His luck really is the worst.

His mood is only further soured as he observes the weird girl attempt to sink her teeth into the metal surface of the water fountain, and his soul withers under the sense of dismay.

_You have got to be kidding me._

Taking a deep breath, he gives her a side glance and starts walking toward the lockers. Noticing his retreating back, the girl runs after him, dancing around him ballet style.

"Thanks for showing me around, safe kid!" she says cheerfully, her voice high and loud. He winces at both her tone and his unwanted title.

"What? _No!_ Look," he says, throwing out a hand and giving her a distasteful grimace. "Whatever you heard about me isn't true!"

"Hi!" she happily calls out to a passer by, ignoring him, but he keeps going on, his frustration only growing.

"I don't know _where_ people get the idea I'm so safe!" he growls, before side stepping part of the floor. "Oh, watch your step, loose tile. It's ridiculous!"

She nibbles on the top of her wand, and he rolls his eyes, before running forward to slam shut an open locker door before she walks face first into it.

"—Careful! ...You wear a helmet in the gym shower _one time,_ and you're labelled for _life!_ Oops, broken glass," he suddenly notices, grabbing her shoulders and directing her around a shattered bottle someone had left.

"Frankly, I like taking risks," he exclaims out loud and proud, slapping his fists together in front of him as his exasperation gets the better of him, "and would _welcome_ a little danger in my life."

There's a heartbeat of silence, before he hears some kind of high pitched _zap_ sound, followed by a burst of aqua colored light in front of him. In the next second, there's a deep, terrifying roar filling the open plaza of the school.

His hair stands on end as a passing butterfly suddenly transforms into a hideous, gigantic white and purple moth creature twice his size, its blue furry wings beating furious as it wails over his head and shows off the pointed, gnarled teeth in its jaws. Marco chokes on his own saliva for a moment as he fights the urge to scream.

The creatures rushes toward the nearest moving object, a young boy in a fedora, and grips its claws tight into his shoulders. The boy's screams echo off into the void as he's carried off into the wind, leaving Star and Marco standing there. Before he'd even realized it, he was behind her like a shield, unable to process what he had seen with his own eyes.

"What the heck was that?!" he demands of her in a shrill voice.

"Uh… oops, haha," Star giggles nervously as he creeps back out from his hiding place and edges away from her. "I thought you wanted a little _danger_."

Slowly he turns to stare at her, his eyes narrowing as he scrutinizes her.

"...Who _are_ you?"

Star continues to smile at him, before doing a little twirl in place with her weird wand thing in a very showy way, little sparkles and glitter flying out from her every movement.

"I'm a magical princess from another dimension!' she proudly says, waving her wand above her head and creating a glittering, bright rainbow across her head like a multicolored brush stroke.

—Which promptly catches on fire in the next moment, showering her in a demonic fiery glow. His heart sinks to the soles of his shoes.

When he finally manages to pick his jaw up off the ground, he gently clasps his hands together and forces what may be the hardest smile he's ever worn onto his face.

"... _Welp,_ that brings us to the end of our tour! I'm going home now."

He can't start walking fast enough. Even with his back turned to her. He can hear her sing songy voice following his every step even when he starts running.

"Bye new friend! See you tomorrow! Byeeee!"

Pulling his hood up over his head, heart beating a mile a minute, he takes off at a wild sprint.

_No way. This can't be happening._

_I've got to be losing my mind._

**.x.X.x.**

His day could only get worse, Marco supposes.

When he opened the door to his house and heard laughter inside, he expected his doting, overly happy parents to greet him like they always did when he comes back from school. Except, this time, nestled on the couch between the two of them and stopping him in his tracks, is an unwanted visitor.

His blood stops flowing for a brief moment as their laughter trails off. His curly-haired mother, wearing identically wide smiles to his tanned father and their guest, waves to him happily in welcome.

"Oh, Marco!" his mom greets him. "Come meet the new foreign exchange student! Who's going to be living with us!"

_L-_

_Living with us?!_

"Wha… _wha…_ " Words refuse to form, his tongue tied in knots, as the blonde demon twists around in her seat with excitement.

"What?!" Star yells, running forward and gripping onto the sleeve of his hoodie, her blue eyes glittering. "I had no idea these were _your_ parents! I just assumed everyone on Earth had the last name Diaz!"

His mom, completely unfazed by the stricken look on her son's face, leans into his dad's side and exchanges a look with him. "Won't it be nice to have Star's upbeat, lively energy around the house?"

_No. No way, no, no, no-!_

Unable to contain his horror, his words are harsh and bitter. "We could have gotten _that_ from a litter of _puppies_."

Star suddenly gasps and shoves him playfully in the side, knocking him slightly off balance in her motions.

"I. _Love._ Puppies!"

Without any warning, she points her wand down at the rug under the Diaz's coffee table, and a spike of hot pink power shoots out of it— resulting in a pile of at least eight small gold-colored puppies on top of each other. Their small yips fill the room, and his parents let out a soft aww from the cuteness.

That is, until bright red lasers begin to shoot out from the puppies' eyes, striking lamps and picture frames. As the destruction increases, Marco gives Star a dark look, and she cowers with a nervous coughing laugh.

"Oh, uh… heheh…" she mumbles, picking up one of the puppies and petting it despite the _death lasers_ flooding out of its eyes.

Marco's parents exchange a glance, and then his dad leans down to take one of the puppies as well, kissing it on the top of its head and chortling under his breath.

"Well, they _are_ really cute," he laughs, until he makes eye contact with the canine and a laser mistakenly strikes him and he laughs through the pain. "Ah! My eye! Hahaha…"

"Marco, why don't you show Star to her new room?" his mother suggests with a light wave, indirectly pointing to the large trunk of luggage at the foot of the stairwell.

Star whoops, and dashes up the stairs while Marco grips onto it with a lot of unheard grumbling. Battling laser puppies and the weight of the incredibly heavy trunk, he glares up where the blonde had gone.

_This is the worst day of my life._

**.x.X.x.**

A deep, gruff laugh echoes outside the window of the Diaz's home.

Standing skillfully on the bent bough of the large tree just outside the house, a man titled Yvgeny Bulgolyubov (or Buff Frog by friends,) pulls his binoculars down with a wide, sloppy smile across his slimy cheeks. His webbed feet wiggled against the bark of the tree, his pleasure mounting.

_I have much good news. Must report back to Boss._

Withdrawing his dimensional scissors, the frog-like creature cuts a hole into the fabric of reality, and steps inside, finding himself in a dimly lit red throne room of sorts. Slapping his closed fists against his eyebat-embossed chest in greeting (as it is his way), he throws both hands outward.

"Ludo, Master," he croaks out, lowering his arms after a moment. "I've tracked down Star Butterfly. They've hidden her in the Earth dimension… _Unguarded._ "

The large throne at the top of the raised platform, guarded by his comrades in arms, begins to rattle as his boss laughs, his voice shrill and loud in the room. The horned demon chair spins around, revealing his employer.

Ludo Avarius, the kappa creature barely even knee-height to Buff Frog, cackles atop his mountain of cushions on the chair. The semi-intimidating skull hat he wears truly adds to his masterful presence, and he smoothes down his gray robe as he addresses his minion.

"Excellent work, Buff Frog!" he keens. "I knew they cou;dn't hide that royal brat from me for long. So the wand will be mine, and then the universe, and then—"

His scream abruptly ends, and he pauses, before tapping a finger to his chin and lowering his voice.

"...Actually, the universe should do it."

Leaning forward, his webbed hands clapping together in dastardly glee, his bloodshot eyes stare out as he plans his next move.

"...I'm coming for you, Princess Butterfly."

**.x.X.x.**

Dropping the insanely heavy trunk of items down with a loud bang against the floor, Marco heaves a huge breath, sweating up a storm.

"Here's your new room," he pants, before yelling out as the trunk lands right on the edge of his shoe, crushing his toes. Yanking himself out from under it, he grips it tightly in a nursing hand.

"O-kay," Star murmurs, nibbling the end of her wand thoughtfully as she observes the small, barren room. "I can work with this."

He doesn't have time to duck or anything as she inhales with a loud noise, and then waves her wand powerfully.

" _Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand!_ "

Purple light blinds him, and he covers his face with both arms as wind gusts past his face. The scent of thick glitter and flowers floods his nose, and when he opens his eyes, it's like he entered an entirely different dimension.

The small, cramped bedroom is suddenly two stories tall, not accounting for the high vaulted ceiling covered in giant saccharine gems. There's a slide reaching all the way from the roof to the floor, a spiralling staircase, a humongous four-poster bed with canopy— holy heck _how did this room get here?!_

"Whoa…" Marco whispers in awe, watching as the scattered puppies go to find things to play with in the suddenly super full yet wide open room around them.

Leaping up onto her brand new bed covered in multi-colored pillows, Star dances along happily. "Ahhh, that's better!"

"I wish _I_ had a room like this," he says half-jokingly as he watches her— and then all of a sudden her bright blue eyes are right up near his, her gleaming white teeth in the biggest smile he's seen from her yet.

"You _do?!_ " she asks excitedly.

Suddenly she's running out of the room, and before he has a chance to ask, it dawns on him exactly what she may be planning. He dashes out after her, chasing her down and trying to catch her before it's too late. The words aren't able to come out fast enough as she slides in front of his doorway and waves her wand in a circle.

" _Mystic Room Suck Transform!_ " she chants.

Some kind of flying purple beast army goes scattering out of her wand, and in the center of his bedroom floor a huge tornado-like wind begins shaping a black and blue vortex. He yells out as the items of his room begin to get sucked in, from his desk to his bed all in the span of seconds. Even the two of the in the doorway amongst the puppies struggle not to be yanked down into the gravitational pull.

Forcing Marco back, Star manages to slam the door shut between them and the swirling black hole, but the damage has been done. Back pressed to the wall as cold sweat drips down his back, Marco's words start spewing out before he can think about it.

"Suck? _Suck?! Why_ was the word 'suck' in that spell?!" he screams, shaking a puppy off his leg in anger.

Dancing from foot to foot anxiously, Star sheepishly responds, "I don't know! It just came out that way!"

With a heavy groan, the poor boy lams his face against his doorway. There's no way it could get worse.

_My room is gone, my stuff is gone…_

"I- I'm sorry, Marco. Uh... " Star's frantic voice behind him echoes down the hallway. "H-How about a little sunshine to brighten your day?"

That dreaded zap noise rings out again, and abruptly there's some kind of intense heat right above his head. It lasts a moment or two, before it changes and turns cold above him— and then a deluge of rainwater crests down over him, soaking him, his hoodie, and even his _socks._

He turns around and lets out an almost girlish squeal of rage, barely able to see Star's face through the red haze in his vision.

"I can't take this anymore!" he cries, hands digging into his scalp and tearing out his hair as he wanders to the window. "If you're moving in, I am moving _out_!"

Ignoring the look on her face, and with the raincloud in tow above his head, he places a foot on the windowsill and goes to grab the edges so he can leap out safely; due to the extremely slippery state of his shoes, however, he slips and ends up falling right out into the yard.

With a grunt of pain at all of the suddenly sharp, pointy objects embedded in his skin, and he _knows_ his favorite pair of pants has been shredded, he just lays there, basking in the pain as the rain continues to fall over him.

Star's blonde head peeks out the window, and she cups a hand over her mouth, her brows pushed down in concern. "Are you okay?"

He glares up at her. "Luckily the cactuses broke my fall."

"Do you… need any help?" she offers sheepishly as he finally picks himself back up.

Kicking off a stray piece of cactus stuck to his pants, he blows a tuft of his messed up bangs from his eyes and frowns.

"I'm _fine!_ " he yells. "Just _leave_ me _alone_!"

Turning his back on her, he stomps off toward town, just wanting to get away from her and her stupid spells and her stupid magic.

He doesn't see the way she stares after him, an apologetic expression written across her face.

**.x.X.x.**

_Oh, man._

Star paces back and forth in the hallway of Marco Diaz's house, biting the inside of her cheek. Her entire world just kinda went upside down, and as much as she hates to admit it, it may _just_ be her own fault.

All she had wanted to do was 'grant' Marco's wish to have a room like hers, but all she ended up doing was making him dislike her. He had stormed from his own house because he was so upset, and she knows that it was her happy accident that drove him to go.

" _If you're moving in, then I'm moving out!"_

She, uh… really did a number on him, didn't she?

It's even worse because she really had already started to like being around him. He's nice and funny, so she's noticed, and it had made being here on Earth a bit more bearable A little less lonely, even.

It makes this all the more a pain. She had the _best_ intentions, but…

Well, there's really only one thing she can do, isn't there? If her presence makes him that unhappy...

Staring at the laser puppies, Star taps the wand against her palm and takes a deep breath.

_Alright, Marco. Hold on. I'll fix this._

With that resolve in mind, she runs over to the window—

—and launches herself out of it with mach speed, hoping to catch up with him.

**.x.X.x.**

_Here he comes, here he comes…_

"Hey brother, do me a solid!" Marco belts out, shaking his empty cup at the man passing by who backs away from him instantly. " _Refill this for me!_ "

The guy makes a disgruntled noise of rejection and runs into the gas station behind him, and Marco almost tosses his cup onto the ground in frustration.

 _They won't let me back inside because I'm_ _soggy_ _,_ he seethes internally, dancing around in his squishy shoes. The chill from being covered in so much water has started to really set in, but there's just no way he's going all the way back to his house and facing _her_ after what she's done.

A mother and child come out of the station, and he quickly pounces them, recognizing them from a few minutes prior. "Did you bring me my refill?!"

"Don't make eye contact," the woman hushes her kid, quickly shielding the boy's eyes and rushing him away. Marco's mouth cuts into a thin angry line, and he simultaneously takes a sip of the empty cup and a bite of his half-eaten chocolate bar, drowning his woes in snacks.

When he turns around again, the items cascade out of his hands in horror as he comes face-to-face with Star Butterfly herself. A fearful _Whoa!_ Leaves his lips, and he finds himself in combat stance, ready to chop her in half if she comes any closer.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he questions.

She raises her wand, and he quickly flinches backwards, cringing away in anticipation for whatever other heinous spell she would cast on him to make his day _even worse._

Instead, the downpour above his head finally stops. He opens his eyes to see her holding her wand against her chest, clutching it in white-knuckled hands.

Softly raising it and tapping her heart-covered cheek with the wand, she digs her toe into the gravel of the parking lot and glances away

"...I didn't get a choice about coming here to Earth," she says quietly, before looking up and meeting his heated gaze. "And _you_ didn't get a choice about... having to deal with me."

His expression softens, and his frown melts away into a soft O of surprise. He can't say he expected an apology out of her, not really, so receiving such a heartfelt, genuine show of remorse left him unsure how to respond.

"I'll…"

Star's eyes glisten in the moonlight, moving away again.

"...I'll find another family to live with."

He stares at her for a moment, his hardened heart softening towards her after all. The sad look on her face really is powerful, he's decided. Already he can feel the pain of the day starting to be replaced by a feeling of guilt.

_Star…_

Movement behind her, however, sends his eyes reeling up. Shadows of many different sizes start to converge on her from behind, and he stutters.

"S-St-Star—" he barely manages, and after giving him a puzzled look, turns around— finding herself faced with at least twenty different monsters.

A small, goblin-sized monster holding a staff moves forward, and lets out a pleased chuckle.

"Star Butterfly," he says happily. "At last I've found you!"

" _Ludo!_ " she gasps, before her cute face contorts into a fiery expression, her hands balling into threatening fists. "How did _you_ know I was here?"

He continues to laugh.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he teases.

Star blinks at him as if he's stupid.

"Yes, that's why I _asked_ ," she says slowly.

"Well, Buff Frog…" he begins in a conversational tone, before suddenly straightening up and pointing his staff at her. "Hey! I don't have to tell you anything! _Get her!_ "

At their master's decree, the entire scourge roars in battle cries and runs forward. A red-skinned bull creature starts to come for Star's throat, and she gets into battle position—

— but in the next second, Marco is running forward, standing protectively in front of her.

Before she can say a word, he channels his inner Tang Soo Do techniques and jumps up, roundhouse kicking the monster in the face and then bringing his heel down into their forehead, cracking them down into the cement. As he gets back into form, he hears her clapping in surprise.

"You can _fight_?!" she exclaims.

He meets her sparkling gaze, and the two share a mischievous grin. He blows off his knuckles and allows himself to brag.

"It's called… _karate._ "

He emphasizes his word with a hard chop to an oncoming monster's chest, knocking them clear out of the arena. He's never seen someone look as impressed with his fighting before as Star does in that moment.

Then, they go absolute ham. Working together, they run into the fray. Star's wand blasts one off their feet, while Marco manages to turn someone upside down with a swift kick to the upper jaw. In the corner of the battle, Ludo jumps up and grabs at Buff Frog's collar, shaking him with as much anger as his tiny body can muster.

"You said she was _unguarded!_ " he screams shrilly, and his minion can only shrug his shoulders in confusion.

A potato-faced monster goes knocking back into his giraffe-shaped brethren, and Marco leaps forward to chop into another twin-headed red monster. However, their heads part, making the action ineffective until he uses the opportunity to slam his fist into either side of their heads. In his peripheral he watches Star jump into the air and cast a shining, colorful beam of light.

" _Rainbow Fist Punch!_ " she cries, and a giant pummeling fist comes down on her enemy, sending them headfirst into a nearby car window.

Circling each other, Star casts a beam that ricochets off the walls and slams into someone about to attack Marco. In return, he karate chops a hard hit into the belly of another monster about to take Star by surprise.

Guarding each other's backs, they quickly take out the entire mini army of monsters, until most lay struggling and in pain around them in the carnage. Ludo jumps out of the way of an oncoming bolt, but Buff Frog is not so lucky, taking a hard hit.

"Get _up,_ you are embarrassing me!" Ludo growls, kicking his minion while he's down.

Buff Frog, already leary and confused, grabs a pole and tries to come after Star, but she points her wand at his chest and, in quick succession;

" _Jelly Bean Hallucination Mist!_ "

His eyes go wide, turning into prisms of sparkles and his face going red as if intoxicated. He stares at his hands and stands in place, totally out of commission.

Marco and Star are suddenly shoved together and tossed to the ground by a pair of the monsters, but are back on their feet quickly. Marco manages another kick to the leg, and Star raises her wands and summons a whirlwind of pink magic to it.

" _Mega… Narwhal… Blast!_ " she casts.

Literal narwhals come shooting out of the tiny wand, and the last of the monsters are summarily crushed beneath them for the time being.

Ludo, completely defeated at this point and looking on in horror, is approached by the smug blonde, lazily waving her wand with a smile and a hand on her hip.

"You want some of this, Ludo?" she asks sweetly.

He looks up at her, and then groans, rolling his eyes.

"...No," he sighs.

Trailing past all of his unconscious and injured minions, he waves his hands vividly at them.

"You see, you morons?! This is what happens when you don't work out." Jumping up into the air to open a dimensional portal with his jagged scissors, and starts urging his followers in one after another. "Your muscles are like pudding. Come on, back in the portal. You even _retreat_ like losers."

After each of the groaning, pained monsters is back inside, he joins them, sticking his head out one last time to shake his fist at Marco and Star.

"I'll get you next time, Star Butterf-"

The portal begins to close on his head, and his speech is cut off as he pops out of existence, his skull hat falling to the ground unceremoniously.

Cheering instantly, Marco throws his hands up into the air in hurrah, eyes wide. He's never felt so invigorated in his entire _life_! Nothing in his Tang Soo Do classes ever prepared him for this, but it was so _awesome!_

"That was _amazing!_ " he says, half laughing as he looks to Star. "I was amazing. _You_ were amazing." His hands dangle out as he gestures to her, too excited to use more expressive methods.

Star blinks, and a big smile rests on her lips as it dawns on her.

"Yeah… I guess we were," she says with surprise, a soft shrug following as she makes eye contact. The smile doesn't last, however, and her eyes fall to the floor as she twiddles her wand in her hands.

"Well, I should probably go… pack my bags."

He stares at her as she starts to walk away, his heart beating a mile a minute. Something inside his soul tells him that letting Star walk away right this second would be letting an awesome opportunity go right on past him.

No… he isn't the 'Safe Kid' anymore. I mean, what safe kid would be able to say they fought real, breathing monsters?!

All the things he said to Star come rushing back, and his face goes panic-stricken as he realizes he only has a few moments to fix this. He really _had_ wanted to her to leave before, but after the fun of fighting alongside her… Well, he'd be lying if he said he wanted her gone now.

"I- wait." Running half barefoot to her side, Marco rests a hand on her shoulder, stopping her. "I don't want you to go. I… I want you to stay with us."

The forlorn look on Star's face vanishes almost instantly, and she grips her wand tight in both hands, leaning up toward with shining eyes. "Really?! _Huuuugs!_ "

Before he knows it, she throws her arms over him and draws him into a big hug. Stiff for a moment and not sure how to handle it (having never really been hugged by a girl like this before anyway), he hesitates for just a second before giving her just a little squeeze back.

_You know… this really isn't all that bad._

When she lets go, and they start to make their way back to his house, he waves a fist and tests out some fun karate moves. "Are there going to be monsters attacking us _all_ the time?"

She peeks down at him with a smirk. "Yeah, probably."

"All _right_! Sounds so dangerous!" he says happily— but reaches out to pull her back before she walks into traffic. "Whoa. Let's cross at the light."

She gives him a sidelong glance, before a knowing smile passes her lips.

"Okay, wild man."

Just like that the two were off, laughing and having fun under the light of a full, glorious moon…

...The start of their entwined journey together, of an unbreakable bond.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. Bet you didn't expect me to ever novelize something ever again. Well... oops. I guess we're really doing this.**

**So, time to go into some details about this. I love SVTFOE. I'm going to be as true to the source material as I can be, but this will not be _perfect._ At all. Fights will not always be totally fleshed out down to each detail. POV will change sporadically to keep up with the show. I will add scenes as I see fit that flesh out character development. I will be covering all. 4. seasons. This will take a really, really long time. I don't know how often uploads will be. I don't even know if I'll finish this, but y'all know me; I'm a glutton for punishment, and if I could novelize a game once already, this is a piece of cake. **

**That being said, please understand I'm doing my best, life is going to be priority, but don't forget to encourage me if you like what you're reading! I want this to be accessible for everyone to enjoy SVTFOE, and I'm doing this purely for fun.**

**Alright, this is long enough. AN's will be rare and on a need-to-use basis. And, everyone?**

**Thanks for reading. I appreciate you.**

**(I also have a youtube and stuff now, so if you wanna hear me read and play games, check my profile.)**

**~Disclaimer~ I do not own the art, narwhal blasts, or a red hoodie.**


	2. Party With A Pony

"All right, Star… Feast your eyes on _this!_ "

Spinning around in front of his stove, chef hat nearly falling off in his exuberance, Marco's oven-mitted hands hold out a heaping plate of golden, glistening nachos covered in copious amounts of hot melted cheese. Steam rolls off the lavish plate.

Star does a happy little dance in front of him, her eyes wide as she takes in the glorious sight and the proudness on Marco's face. " _Marco's Super Awesome Nachos!_ "

Clapping her hands in anticipation, she reaches forward, tentatively snagging one of the crisp chips coated in cheese off the plate and admiring it between her fingers. She'd heard rumors of these miracle 'nachos' Marco spoke highly about for the past few days, but to see them freshly prepared before her very eyes…

"Oooh," she says, raising the treat to her lips and taking in the heady scent of 'jalapeno' cheese. " _Triangle_ food…"

_People on Earth have pretty awesome snacks. Even after a week being here, there's still so much I'm getting to try out, like these crispy cheese things!_

Before she has a chance to chomp down on her first delicious bite of the nacho, a loud knock at the door makes the two of them pause. Marco lowers his plate to his chest and tilts his head curiously.

Walking over to the door while still holding the plate, the boy opens the door and peers out into the night. An empty air greets him.

He glances from side to side, first the right, and then the left— and when he's blinked a few times, something has materialized out of thin air right in front of him.

A floating, ominous horse head, radiating an aura of sparkles, right by his face.

"Yo, what up, home fries?" It asks shrilly.

With a girlish scream, Marco backs up and trips over his own feet, the plate of nachos cascading down onto his clothes and the ground. Star, blinking in confusion and worry, looks up to see what had made him panic.

Meeting the teal eyes of the unicorn creature, recognition dawns on the blonde's face.

She knows that blue fur, that luxurious and perfectly maintained magenta mane, that sharp pointed horn and those starry eyes…!

"Oh my _gosh?!_ " she shrieks, stepping forward and unknowingly crushing Marco's chest under her shoes to greet her. " _Flying Princess Pony Head!_ "

Her best friend of many years lights up seeing her face, and Star's heart soars instantly. She and Ponyhead have gone way, way, _way_ back to their toddling days. (Well, _her_ toddling days; Ponyhead has always been a floater other than the very beginning when she liked to pull herself around by her teeth.)

"Oh, hello, B-Fly!" Ponyhead grins, before swooping in to give the blonde girl a big hug. Sparkles cascade between them, a heartwarming show of affection.

" _Giiiirl_ , we're going _out_ tonight," she whinnies, star-eyes glowing with glitter. "Are you ready to make some _baaad_ choices?"

Star's eyes bulge wide, but her resulting smile is ginormous as she flips a thumb over her shoulder. "Let me just wake up Marco."

Ponyhead peers around her with narrowed eyes, taking in the boy's disheveled appearance laid out across the cheesified steps. He's still knocked out, one oven-mitted hand propped up almost in a half-wave and drenched in nacho goodness.

"...Oh, that is not a dead person?' she inquires, and Star can almost see the shrug.

"N-Not… dead," Marco gasps, raising a finger weakly in protest.

Excited, Star swoops her hands under the boy's arms and lifts him from the disaster on the ground, holding his limp form up as he recovers with a low groan. It seems like all her dreams are coming true right now! This couldn't be a better situation, honestly; one awesome friend meeting another!

Raising one of his unresistant arms in a faux-wave, Star exclaims, "Ponyhead, meet my best friend, Marco Diaz!"

There's a moment where the pony's eyes grow twice their size, and her mouth drops open. A look of complete bewilderment crosses her face.

"Your... _best_ friend?"

It takes just one second for Star to realize how it sounded when those words came out of her mouth. She gasps audibly.

_Oh, no, what did I do?_

"Oh, no- no no no," she quickly corrects, waving Marco's lifeless hands around emphatically. "On _Earth_. Y- _You're_ my best friend on Mewni."

She does know sometimes Ponyhead can feel a bit slighted or jealous when it comes to her position as bestie, but obviously this is just a misunderstanding and a slip of the tongue.

_Already fixed!_

"Marco," Star leans down to speak to her semi-conscious friend. " _This_ is the pony I've been telling you about."

Marco tilts his head up to get a good look at Ponyhead— and gets blasted in the face with a thick garnet breath as the girl snorts.

"I hate your face," she claims with a white smile. "Plus, _you're ugly._ "

When Marco's face contorts in confused annoyance at her hurtful words, she follows up with a laugh and a nudge to his cheesy cheek with her snout.

"Just _kidding._ That's a joke."

Totally ignoring his expression, Ponyhead flies over his head to be eye-to-eye with Star. "Tick tock girl, let's _par-taaaaay_!"

Happily Star tugs on Marco's arm, watching Pony coax her along, chomping at the bit to start partying. It's been _forever_ since they had a girl's night, or had an awesome night of besties hanging out together. Now she could include Marco and show him what fun is _really_ all about.

"Yeah, Marco, let's _partay!_ "

"...With her?"

Somehow she's met with resistance, stopping her in her tracks as Marco glances back at his house with hesitation.

"Um, well, okay, but I was gonna- but I mean- I was gonna- I- I was- uh…"

_Aw, Marco..._

Star stares at him as Marco fumbles over his words, but he quiets when she gives him her favorite puppy-dog eyes. At her pleading, he just sighs, wiping off his hoodie and picking a stray nacho off the material to pop into his mouth.

"...Alright," he relents.

The girl squeals with glee. Running forward and pulling Marco and Ponyhead into a half hug, Star glances between the two of them and trembles with excitement. _Aw yes, the party is back on for good!_

"My two besties are gonna be besties!"

Pulling out of the hug after a glance at Marco, Ponyhead winks at Star.

"Sweet! Let's go."

Her cheeks bulge suddenly as the other two look on, and after a moment of coughing, she spits out her tongue, where something shiny and metal is held. Star gasps in surprise.

A pair of brilliant, perfectly silver scissors are gripped tight in Ponyhead's mouth, the handle a soft scarlet red with a little diamond in the center. It's covered in a thick layer of her friend's saliva, but Star chooses to pretend it's not that gross and clap her hands with disbelief.

"Dimensional scissors…!" she shrieks, her feet tap-dancing against the grass. " _Jealous!_ "

_I've always wanted my own pair! I can't believe Pony has her own! Now we can go anywhere in the entire universe!_

As Ponyhead turns around and begins to cut a glowing hole into the fabric of reality, Marco looks to Star's jumpy self with doubt.

"Wait, we're going to another dimens— _whoa!_ "

Completely ignoring him, Star grabs onto the sleeve of his hoodie and yanks him through the purple portal, shouting, " _Come on!_ "

_This is going to be the most fun ever! Me, Marco, and Ponyhead partying together!_

_This is going to be a night to remember!_

Unfortunately, after Star had jumped through the portal, she didn't have a chance to see the way Ponyhead's expression shifted, or how she warily looked around before joining them and sealing the portal behind her.

**.x.X.x.**

Less than two minutes after the trio had left the Earth dimension, another darker rift opened under the sharp cut of a pair of teal metal scissors.

Stepping out of it in thick combat boots and a heavy, military-grade brown uniform, three figures emerge to immediately begin scoping out the area around them. Their faces are obscured by crudely sewn masks, but their glowing red eyes sear through them, indicating their power.

The leader slowly lowers himself toward the ground, his hefty gloves sliding across the grass amongst the residue of what could be the remnants of a sparkly art project. Raising his fingers to the wide mouth opening in the bottom of his mask, he takes a taste of the dust-like substance without flinching.

"...Glitter," his deep, gravel voice murmurs.

"... _She was here._ "

**.x.X.x.**

"Yeah, woohoo! Ahaha!"

"Wee! Yeaaah-aha!"

Falling through the air with the wind whipping her long hair around Star's face, the screams of the two girls rings out through the new dimension around them, their laughter only mildly interrupted when they land none-too-gracefully amongst the gray comfortable cloud couch waiting below. Exhilarated, Star enjoys the bounce-back of her impact, hardly noticing when Marco lands a few feet further than them on the hard floor with a painful moan.

His back is in so much pain. Wincing as he tries to regain his composure, Marco lifts his head to an incredibly unfamiliar sight.

… _?_

It looks like some kind of dance club, he notices. The checkered floor is littered with people vibing to the rhythmic techno music played by the robot DJ and his side guy. There are tables scattered here and there with bean bag chairs where people of all size and shapes sit talking and laughing. The sky above him is an open mass of blackness, and even though he landed on hard, solid ground, it kinda seems like they're all on top of one giant cloud, with a few somewhat smaller versions with more hangout spots.

"...Where _are_ we?" Marco asks.

"The Bounce Lounge!" Star exclaims, as he glances back at her and Ponyhead and brushes off his dusty pants. The horse girl is nodding her head along with the music, and Star has slunk back into the soft cushy part of the couch with her feet splayed out. "My favorite place to _chill_. Just stay away from the edge!"

"Huh…?" he asks, already having started wandering to get a better look of the place around him. When he glances down, however, a girlish scream rips from his throat in horror.

Just by the end of his feet is a steep drop onto an expanse of spikes that stretches on for seeming eternity. Right below is a skeleton impaled there, with a little blue baseball cap still on his head.

Screaming, Marco loses his balance as he tries to get away from the edge, arms flailing around him until a hand connects with the neck of his hoodie and tugs him into safety.

Before he's even able to process what's happened, Star and Ponyhead have him stood right in front of some kind of booth stand, the excitement radiating off of Star in rainbow-colored waves.

"Marco, photo booth! _Photo booth!_ " she screeches.

It's at this point that Marco's patience begins to thin. This is just… not how he wanted his night to go. One second he was looking forward to sitting in with Star with a fresh plate of perfectly, _painstakingly_ awesome nachos, and the next he was suddenly being thrown face-first into a whole other dimension. The guy can't get cut any slack, can he?

_Not to mention Ponyhead seems like she'd rather I wasn't around..._

He doesn't have time to say anything, however, because Star knocks Ponyhead into the booth with a well-aimed hip bounce, and then tosses him in after her, sending him careening into the booth seat and nose-first right into Ponyhead. The small pain in his face is nothing compared to the awkward moment of eye contact between them before Star parts between them like the red sea, wrapping her arms around both with a smile sharp enough to cut glass.

The trigger for the photos is in her hand in little more than a flash, and he's jostled into a happy-go-lucky pose alongside the blonde and horse. Knowing there's not much he can do, Marco lets himself ride with the tied and actually, genuinely _enjoys_ the pictures they take together, finding himself easily slipping into goofy poses or friendly gestures with them.

 _This isn't so bad,_ he finds.

That is, until Star whoops and puts the trigger down, and points a finger at him and Ponyhead.

"And now just you two! A souvenir from the night my _besties_ became besties!"

Trailing sparkles and a few glittering stars (how does she even do that, anyway? Do they fall off her wand or something?) Star jumps out of the booth, leaving him stuck alone on the bench with just…

...Ponyhead.

Suddenly the other girl is right up in his face, her horn coming incredibly close to piercing right through his forehead as she peers into him with fiery eyes.

"Listen," she growls. "We are not gonna be _besties._ We are not even gonna be _second_ besties."

The tickdown of the picture timer on the screen in front of them indicates the oncoming flash, and they automatically pose in a cheek-to-cheek grin. As soon as they have the clear, he pushes away from her, narrowing his eyes.

"Second besties? That's not even a _thing!_ "

" _Oooohhhh!"_ Ponyhead sassily juts her head forward. "You want to make this a thing?"

Another picture, and they quickly slip into a forced friendly posed before returning to the argument.

"Look here, Earth Turd," Ponyhead spits at him. "This night is _really_ important to me. You mess that up…"

The tip of her super sharp horn is at his throat then, just barely grazing his chin.

"...You're gonna get the _horn._ "

He's almost too shocked to move when the next picture countdown occurs, and Ponyhead pokes him into an extremely stiff over-the-head hug until its over. She waves the horn menacingly his direction again.

"Got it? Good." She floats around him, holding him hostage inside the booth a moment longer as she slides through the teal curtain. " _Real_ good. Later!"

With a sickeningly sweet smile and light tone, Ponyhead disappears, and Marco has to take a moment to catch his breath. This time he just lets the booth take his picture, mortified, scared expression and all.

_Did she really just threaten me? What is going on? I've gotta tell Star._

Ignoring her warnings, Marco peeks his head out of the booth cautiously in case she's waiting to pierce him with her headwear. Thankfully, she catches sight of her in the middle of the dance floor along with Star.

Wait. Not thankfully. He needs to get Star away from her!

Edging up to the dancing girls quietly, he makes a whisper noise at the blonde, reaching to tap her gently on the shoulder. Her blue eyes light on him innocently.

"Star, I need to talk to yo _oouuuu_!"

Mid sentence, she grabs onto his hands and swings him around in a wide circle to the beat, and his words turn into a high shriek amidst her laughter. The two of them become a tornado, dancing in tandem. Almost dizzied, Marco blinks a few times to adjust to the swirling vortex that is Star Butterfly and regain rational thought.

"Star!' he tries again, wishing she'd open her eyes and pay attention for just a minute. "Ponyhead threatened to—"

Something warm and heavy smacks into him, whipping him out of Star's grip. Losing his balance, Marco sees Ponyhead glaring at him with a smile as he tumbles his way off the dance floor and clumsily off the ledge of the frosty cloud.

His screams ring out almost at the same volume as the hopping music, and his fingers try to grip onto the nearly nonexistent material of the cloud, very nearly losing his grip and descending into the unforgiving spikes below.

"Fall! Fall! Fall! Fall!" The skeleton from below encourages him, shaking their rattling bones and only increasing his fear.

Star's worried face appears over him, and she offers him a pale hand that he gladly takes in the next second, risking a glance back over his shoulder at the near-death experience.

"Marco, be careful!" she scolds him.

Waving his hands wildly, Marco shakes his head. "Ponyhead just tried to shove me off this cloud!"

She blinks at him.

"Ohh… no," she murmurs, blowing a gust of air through her lips dismissively. "She just gets a little _wild_ when she dances".

Casting a glance back at the dance floor, Marco follows her gaze to where Ponyhead is forcing another dancer to move along with her, shouting exuberantly and even riding them around like a four-footed beast. His head throbs a bit more with frustration.

"Well, she _also_ threatened to _skewer_ me in the photo booth!" he declares, exasperated as he draws a little slash across his neck with one hand.

Finally, it seems like realization dawns over his friend. Her smile vanishes, and she nervously rubs an arm and nibbles her lower lip sheepishly.

"...Yeah," she finally admits. "She can be… possessive."

Something else lights on her face then, as if she's suddenly had a wonderful idea, and Marco's chest grows tight with anxiety as she cups a hand to her mouth.

"Ponyhead!" she yells to the still-dancing equine. "Let's go to the Amethyst Arcade! Marco will have more fun there."

"No way girl!" She answers back, whinnying as her poor partner struggles to keep up with her demanding moves. "I'm getting my dance on! …!?"

However, in the next moment she completely grows still, seemingly growing paler before rushing back over to them and whipping out her scissors from _wherever_ she keeps them.

"Yes, you are right, Star," she says mechanically, now completely compliant even though Marco gives her a disbelieving look. "He will like the arcade better! Let's go!"

As Ponyhead enters, Star turns to him with a wide smile, completely unfazed by Ponyhead's odd behavior.

"She's warming up to you!" she sings, before shoving him with a heavy hand into the portal after her.

There's another moment of freefall, but as one of his well-pitched screams begins to form in his throat, it ends just as abruptly as it starts, this time with a tad bit more grace. When he picks himself up off the ground this time, though, he's left in awe at what he sees.

Thousands— _literally_ thousands, of crystal-cut video games, everywhere. The large cavern of quartz and who knows what else is gigantic, with arcade games as far as his eyes can see. It's like he died and went to heaven in the span of one dimensional jump.

"Holy pixels," he vocalizes, "So many video games!"

Piping up out of the corner of his eye, Ponyhead rears up with a whinny and a sassy hair flip.

"Yes, I knew _you_ would like it here," she says, giving him a side-glance and rolling her eyes with a smug grin. "This place is _full_ of squares."

" _Like you"_ , Marco can almost read her thoughts, even if there are odd square-shaped creatures in this dimension that prove her point. He seethes and they stare each other down.

"Look!" Star points out, oblivious to the two's budding rivalry. Her long hands stretch out to wave dramatically at a nearby game. "Lance Lance Revolution! That's perfect. You guys! Go, play!"

Her urging is followed by more increasingly emphatic hand gestures, and when she turns on them expectantly, Marco and Pony have no choice but to plaster fake smiles onto their faces. But the moment her back is to them again, the growl of competition begins.

 _Alright, Pointyhead,_ Marco allows, _we'll see who wins this fight._

_I'm not gonna let you get the best of me!_

In a flash of an instant, they're standing on the raised platform for the game, each with a fake (uh, maybe not so fake) lance controller in hand. Er, well… he's holding his in hand. Ponyhead resorts to gnashing her teeth onto the handle of the other one, little droplets of spit splashing everywhere with the motion. Kinda gross, but she doesn't really have hands to use.

The pixellated screen pops up without prompting, showing little sprites of him and Ponyhead. It's almost admirable, until he sees the names flash across it— "Ponyhead" versus " _Earth Turd_." he makes a noise of disapproval, hearing the equine snicker beside him.

_Oh, you are so going down._

Round one begins, and even without knowing the rules, Marco enthusiastically begins swinging his lance in an effort to best Ponyhead. He starts sweating profusely with the effort, hearing Star cheer them on from behind. He and Pony let out grunts of exertion.

"You're going _down_ , downer!" Ponyhead mumbles through the lance handle.

"Oh yeah?!' he responds. "Well, your mother's a horse!"

It was not exactly the most well thought out response, considering Pony gives him the sideeye.

"...Ah, _okay_ , and your point would be?"

"Awe, look at you two getting along!" Star dotes from behind them like a proud mother. She slaps her hands against their backs in a sign of encouragement, but quickly withdraws as it meets his semi-sticky hoodie. "Uh… ew. Oh, I know! I'll go get us some nice cold icicles to put on your disgusting sweaty back."

The next few minutes are intense, a crowd drawing around the two battling for supremacy. Marco's dignity and pride are at stake here, and he's not about to let his new sworn enemy win and gloat over him. Not now, not e-

-...ver?

All of a sudden Ponyhead's lance slips out of her mouth almost on purpose. As her weapon drops, so too does her score, and he's quick to steal the victory from right under her nose. HIs eyes are blinded with white glee. He lets out a glorious laugh, raising his lance and slapping his hand against his thigh.

"Hah! Who's the turd now?!" he demands.

Ponyhead snorts and rolls her eyes, before floating away and casting back a " _Still you_!" over her shoulder as she departs.

His laugh is cut short, and he lets his scornful gaze follow her until one of the members of the audience steps up, a little blue square with large black-rimmed glasses.

"I think I'm next! But with less abusive trash talk, please."

Marco blinks a moment, and then shrugs his shoulders. Eh, what could one more match hurt.

"Alright, you're on."

**.x.X.x.**

"Um, let's see… do I want the pointy one, or the pointier one…? Oh, it's such a tough choice."

Standing in line at the icicle line, Star is just happy to even be here. The bonding between Marco and Pony has been going amazing so far, and this is just the start of a beautiful friendship. Star's matchmaking skills aren't just good for couples, they're _epic_ for friends.

She was kinda worried about Marco not adjusting to the dimensional jumping, but he seems to really like this dimension. She'll have to bring him here again with Pony, obviously.

Her thoughts are interrupted as the friend in question comes racing up to Star with an odd look on her face, glancing behind her.

"Hey, Star, I'm bored," she tells her, spitting out her scissors again. "Uh, I know this other club, so let's bounce."

Oh, yes! Another dimension, another awesome place to show to Marco.

"Sounds cool! I'll go get Marco," Star offers, but Pony shakes her head.

"Oh, uh, no no no no, he went on ahead," she explains. "Um, yes, he wanted to save us a good spot in the mosh pit. Yes, that is the course of events…"

Star laughs, not even remotely surprised. "Hah, classic Marco. Always putting friends first."

_Ah, well, he's already there, so what's the harm?_

_What could go wrong?_

**.x.X.x.**

" _You win!_ "

Cheering so hard he nearly drops his lance, Marco does a little victory jig over his spot as his opponent purses their lips and sighs in defeat. This is the 38th person he's beaten, and it feels _so good_. Just another awesome win to lord of Pointyhead.

"Did you see that, Star?' he asks, turning around and slapping a hand to his chest. "Try and beat that, Pointyhead."

Except his words fall on deaf ears. He blinks a few times, realizing that in the crowd of onlookers, Star and Ponyhead aren't anywhere to be seen. A little bit of doubt gnaws down his spine.

"Star?' he calls out. "Pointyhead…?"

Something large and heavy drops down on his shoulder from behind him, his crowd shuffling out of the way in fear, and Marco goes stiff as a board as three large figures tower over him. He's not what anyone would classify as short for his age, but compared to these guys, he's a dwarf.

His eyes go wide as they meet the glowing red sockets of the creature in front of him—

—and then he is swarmed.

**.x.X.x.**

At the popular dance club and concert hall the Scum Bucket, the two girls laugh their worries away, enjoying the vibe of the crowds of people and the music that thunders through and shakes every living person's body.

The wide, gaping fish maw stage is lit up in deep neon purple light, and the band is rocking out hardcore on stage. Star lets out a whoop of excitement as she is carried across hundreds of hands above the crowd beside Ponyhead, having an absolutely awesome time.

"Is this not a blast or what, B-Fly?" Ponyhead whinnies above the incredibly loud raucous of the screaming fans below.

"Yeah-heah!" she replies just as loud, even as her eyes search the crowd in every direction. "But… I don't see Marco anywhere!"

Which is really odd, honestly, considering Pony had said he was reserving a spot for them. She hadn't caught sight of him when they arrived either, and when she had yelled his name a few times earlier, there was no hide or hair of the boy. Sure he could've just gotten lost in the audience like them, but it's not really like him. It's been nagging at her for a little while.

"Pfft," Ponyhead responds, whipping her hair and doing the equivalent of shrugging her shoulders. "You got _me_ , girl. And I'm _way_ more fun."

The music dies down to background noise in Star's ears for a moment as she looks to Ponyhead, genuine confusion crossing her face. The way she said that felt all kinds of wrong, and Star's hoping it's not because of what she's thinking.

"Uh… what are you talking about?"

Seeing Star's searching gaze, Pony's starry eyes flit away to avoid looking directly at her as she nervously laughs. "Uh, well, funny story, you're gonna love it. I… kinda ditched him and left him in the other dimension. _Oops_ , haha."

The party seems to go to a screeching halt.

"What?!" Star sits up in the crowd, but the instability of the motion makes the hands holding her weaker and she lets out a yelp as she topples to the ground in an unceremonious, aching heap amongst the thriving mob. Pony yells her name and comes down to check on her, but she meets her gaze with accusation.

"How could you do that to my best friend?" Star demands, pushing herself back onto her feet and pressing a hand to her chest.

Pony rears back as if slapped. "Best friend?! Last time I checked, the best friend was me!"

"I can have two best friends," Star iterates with exhaustion, before crossing her arms and huffing. "Unless _one_ of them is a friend-ditching liar."

Hurt crosses Pony's features, and her teal eyes grow sad as she realizes how she's messed up.

"That Earth Turd means that much to you…?"

Star doesn't hesitate to answer.

"He's the best turd I've ever known."

Faced with her friend's unstoppable resolve, Pony has no choice but to fold, shaking her head and sighing as she realizes she's lost the argument. A new determination rises over her features, like she's steeling herself.

"...Okay. I know what to do."

**.x.X.x.**

Jumping back into the Amethyst Arcade dimension, it takes only a few seconds for the girls to locate Marco in the area. Star pinpoints him— tied to a chair, a weird lamp being flashed in his face as he cries out for mercy surrounded by three huge, hulking figures. She gasps in horror.

_Marco!_

"There he is!" she directs Pony, before raising her wand. No one, and she means _no one_ , is going to torment her best friend is she has anything to say about it!

"Crystal Dagger—"

" _Wait,_ B-Fly!"

Her spell is interrupted by Pony, who is quick to get between her and the group of kidnappers.

"It's too dangerous, girl," she continues, glancing back before back at the blonde. "...Hold out your hand."

Star does as she asks with confusion, and the equine hacks up her scissors in an instant, letting the semi-wet tool drop into her open and waiting palm, the silver blades catching the light.

"Your dimensional scissors…?" Star says in awe.

Ponyhead turns away, but her voice is strong.

"...I won't need 'em where I'm goin'."

"But, Ponyhead-!"

Before she can finish her sentence, her friend has already made herself visible to the figures harassing Marco. With a dramatic flair and a sassy snap of her long mane, she yells out to them.

"Oh hey, creeps!' she sneers, drawing their heads her way. "I heard you're looking to ride with a pony! So, come and _get_ me!"

With a deep, gravel roar, the kidnappers abandon Marco and chase after Ponyhead. Her laughter echoes out throughout the arcade cavern as she starts flying at high speeds past gamers and staff, weaving her magic around to draw them away. The sounds of crashes, screaming from patrons, and loud results of destruction fill the area.

Star is already on the move though, admiring the sacrifice of her friend. She'll help Pony in a minute, but first, Marco!

Running up to him as he struggles to loosen the ropes, she raises her wand at his terrified face.

"Lean back, Marco!"

"N-No, wait, it's okay!" he tries to say. "I have my hand f-"

" _Shiny Emerald Snake Strike!_ " Star cries out, her wand glowing a brilliant green before unleashing a few glowing beams at him. They change midair, becoming long slimy green snakes that latch onto him, even turning his bonds into the reptilian creatures.

When he doesn't immediately jump up, she grabs a hand into the soft fabric of his red hoodie, yanking him off the chair and out of the snake pile. "Marco, stop goofing around, we have to go!"

Running to where they can hear Ponyhead's neighs of laughter, they catch up just as the equine's horn begins to glow with tendrils of magic power. With mirth, she blasts arcade games up everywhere she aims in order to slow them down.

"Whoohoo! I feel so alive!" she shrieks.

With them getting a little too close, Star watches as she takes aim at the biggest crystal in the center of the ceiling. With a powerful grunt, she unleashes it and it hits dead center onto the faceted gem— releasing hundreds of smaller beams from its reflection and causing havoc throughout the entire arcade as explosions fill the area, game after game going up in shining emerald smoke.

Even the baddies running after her are nearly crushed beneath the weight of the crystal, as it becomes unhinged from the ceiling and falls right above their heads. They barely make it out from under, and she laughs with nothing but victory— until accidentally crashing face-first into a crystalline wall, falling limp to the ground in pain.

Recovering quickly, the figures begin closing in on the weakened princess, but that's where Star jumps in, her and Marco easily slipping to battle stances to protect her.

"Back off, creeps!" Star yells, wand raised and ready.

"Don't worry, Ponyhead," Marco says, casting a glance back before facing the enemies before them unflinchingly. "We've got your back! ...Of your head."

There's a friendly look exchanged between the equine princess and Marco, and her rejuvenated self rises from the ground to join her friends. As they all brace themselves for the upcoming _epic_ battle—

" _Time to give it up, cupcake._ "

A loud, booming voice far stronger and more powerful than any of Ponyhead's explosions rings out over their heads. Lost for a second, Star slowly lowers her wand in disbelief as a huge silhouette appears before them.

"Is that… King Ponyhead?" she asks in bewilderment.

As if to confirm, the extremely large horse-headed highness comes from the shadows, sharing extremely alike physical features with his daughter save for the sapphire-colored mane and the glimmering gold crown hung around his sharp horn.

Marco is lost for words, unable to speak his mind, and Star watches as Ponyhead lowers her horn in defeat.

"...Hello, Daddy," she mumbles.

"Hello, princess," he greets her, affectionate but stern. Still, Star can't quite figure out what his presence in the Amethyst Arcade is _for,_ and she leans close to Pony with a hand cupped over her mouth.

"Uh… What is he doing here?"

"Oh, B-Fly," Ponyhead mourns, her eyes beginning to grow wet. "It's the end of the line for me."

At Star's horrified, shocked expression, she offers a half smile. "But at least I got in one more night of fun with you, girl."

Star gapes at her, not understanding. "One last night…? Before what?"

Rainbow-colored tears well in Ponyhead's eyes and her lower lip trembles.

"...Before _this_ ," she sobs. "I'm going to St. O's!"

Star screams in terror at the mere mention, hands grasping her cheeks as if to shield her from the nightmare. The mental image of her best friend's fate is etched into her deepest recesses of her brain.

"N-Not St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses?!"

"Oh, it's true. I did it to myself," Ponyhead says woefully, looking away. "I'm headed to the slammer."

"It's reform school, cupcake, not jail," King Ponyhead replies dryly. "Although admittedly, it is a lot like jail."

Star turns to her childhood friend, her eyes gleaming with every type of star in the sky as she clasps her hands together in front of her.

"Oh, Ponyhead," she says adoringly. "You knew you'd get sent to St. Olga's, but you still came back to save Marco. "

Another sassy hair wave, and Ponyhead smiles. "Awe, well… you know. It's hard to say it... but he _is_ your other bestie. Okay, I said it."

"Awww! Come here! Hugs!" Star says, opening her arms wide and taking her warm furry friend in close. After a moment she reaches for Marco too, dragging him into the group hug which he surprisingly doesn't resist to.

"Alright, princess," the gravel voice of one of St. Olga's minions says, drawing the three's attention to the metal muzzle in his hand. "Time to go."

Sadly they watch as Ponyhead is cuffed up to the roped bondage, being led away from them slowly. Star, teary-eyed, waves her hands in farewell.

"Bye, Pony. I'm gonna miss you!"

To both their surprise, however, Marco takes a step forward.

"Hey, Ponyhead?"

She stops for a moment to look back at him, and he offers her a small smile and a light wave.

"...Good luck in princess jail."

For once, her eyes soften as she looks at him.

"Aw. Thanks, Earth T-" She chokes on her words, before saying, "I mean… Thank you, Marco."

She whinnies, before flipping her hair and casting them both a defiant look, shining with that true Ponyhead spirit.

"But, don't worry about me," she laughs, as the minions begin to drag her through their portal. "No jail can hold onto _me_ for long! Whahaha!"

Her laughter trails off as she disappears into the glittering portal, and King Ponyhead just sighs and shakes his large head.

"Ah, kids," he mutters, following after her. "You have 'em, and then you wish they weren't around…"

When he vanishes, Star sidles up next to Marco before happily doing a ballet pose. "Yay! My besties _are_ besties!" she exclaims happily. Marco glances over to her and rolls his eyes slightly.

"...Yeaaah, I wouldn't go that far," he replies dryly, but with a newfound fondness. Until something dawns on him, and with panic he runs his fingers through his hair and casts his eyes around frantically. "But- hey, we're stuck in another dimension!"

Star's smile doesn't waver, however. "Oh no we're not~!" she sings, before mimicking Ponyhead's coughing sound and withdrawing the dimensional scissors from within her dress pocket.

"Whoa!" Marco says, his worry subsiding as he admires the brand new scissors.

"Now," Star grins, "We can go _anywhere_ we want. Anywhere in the _entire_ universe!"

Marco's brown eyes light up, and he nods his head knowingly.

"...I know just the place."

**.x.X.x.**

Happily sitting in Marco's living room couch, a heaping plate of nachos between them, the pair of best friends dig into the cheesy goodness as their new favorite telenovela plays across the TV. It's almost midnight, the night sky outside shining brilliantly, and as it goes on, they exchange a friendly look.

 _You know what?_ Star decides, leaning comfortably back against the cushions and giving him another look when he's not paying attention.

_I think this might be the most fun place to spend time together after all._

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys. Quickly popping in for a brief sec.**

**Don't know why I feel I have to reiterate this, but this is going to be a pure novelization. No OCs. No big plot changes. I will be adding new character development scenes if/when it feels right. I will expand feeling and describe using words alone. But that's it. This is all going to be totally canon. **

**You also might see a bit of stiffness in my character descriptions/feelings at first as I get used to being in Marco and Star's shoes. Usually POV will change between them unless I absolutely have to change to a side character. But obviously if the episode is filler or focuses on something else, I won't be able to add much in the way of feeling to it. Bear with me, y'all.**

**Thank you for the support so far, by the way. It does encourage me to continue. It's a long and kinda thankless project, so I appreciate it.**

**Read on.**


	3. Matchmaker

On a bright, early spring day, with the wind whipping past them and the sky as blue and clear as the day she arrived, Star and Marco walk cheerily along the lockers, chattering away.

Well, Marco chattering, surprisingly.

"I like _red_ , I like _hoodies_ , so I bought a dozen of them," he explains proudly, hands deep in his pocket as Star trails behind him.

She nods in acknowledgement, twirling her wand in her hands absently, before hearing someone calling out to them and coming to a quick stop.

"Hey, it's that magic girl!"

A crowd of students pass them by, boys and girls alike of all shapes and sizes waving to Star. All of them wave and smile at Star, greeting her, and she reciprocates with a big smile.

"Hey, what's up, Star?"

"Hi Star!"

"Hi! Hi, new friends!" Star says excitedly, vigorously waving her wand hand at them. As they pass by, she glances at Marco's confused face. "Everyone's so cool here, Marco! It makes me wish my parents had tossed me out of the castle years ago.

He blinks, before a sly smile comes over his tanned face. He jabs a thumb behind him.

"Oh, you haven't even met the _coolest_ guys. _Alfonzo_ and _Ferguson_."

Star peers over his shoulder to see two boys about their age lurking by the end of the lockers. One is tall, with a darker complexion and thick, black-rimmed round glasses. The other is a chubbier, pale boy with fiery red hair and freckles.

"Quick, here she comes!" the tall one says, elbowing his friend, and the redhead lifts his shirt to reveal a crayon doodle of a face on his extended belly, showing it off to a brunette girl walking past them.

"Hey hey, are those books? Where you going with those books?" he laughs, gripping his rolls with both hands to simulate lip movement. "Do you like to _read_ —"

The girl, fuming, slaps the redhead across the face with a harsh palm, even slapping his stomach for emphasis, and then storms off.

"...They're usually cooler," Marco says sheepishly, noting Star's face.

However, inside her magically charged brain, a plan brews already.

It's never been past her to set up her friends on dates before. In fact, she sees it as her specialty, even after she set up Ponyhead with that prison gang leader a year or two back. (They'd really hit it off though!)

After witnessing that, she couldn't help but feel Ferguson, the redhead, has some potential. After all, everyone deserves love!

"I need to fix Ferguson up," she says, tapping her chin with her wand.

Marco goes pale. "...No."

Before she can elaborate, the sound of rolling wheels on cement draw their attention. Marco gasps openly as a girl begins to approach them.

"Jackie Lynn Thomas…!" he breathes, barely able to form the words.

As Jackie gets closer, her features become more clearly defined. Doing a neat trick on her bright aqua skateboard, her knee-sock clad feet confidently guide it their direction. Dressed in pale blue shorts and a green and white half-sleeve shirt, her hay-colored hair highlighted with teal bobbing just gently above her shoulders, she glows in the afternoon sunlight. Her eyes are a sea-foam green, large and set apart on her freckled face, a stark contrast to her deep purple helmet decorated in stickers of seashells.

"Hey, Star Butterfly!" Jackie waves with a smile Star's way.

"Hi, Jackie!" Star enthusiastically replies, returning it freely and then turning to look at Marco.

If it wasn't obvious how he felt toward Jackie, the almost visible hearts in his eyes as he watches her leave with a gaping mouth are a telltale sign. A sneaky grin lights up on her face.

"I need to fix _you_ up," she teases, gripping his shoulders and shaking him from his reverie.

Marco instantly grimaces. " _What?!_ "

"Oh, come _on,"_ Star replies, tossing her wand from hand to hand. "I'm almost as good at match-making as I am at magic!"

Her wand slips slightly when she catches it in one of her hands, and a blast of magic energy floods over Marco, ruining his hair and leaving him glaring at her from between semi-burnt strands of hair. He grits his teeth.

"... _I'm good_."

**.x.X.x.**

In class a bit later, Star finds herself absently doodling her name onto her desk as her classmates chatters quietly around her. Gesturing over to Marco, she forces him to glance her way.

"Look, look, look, look, look! It's my name! It's my name!" she says, pointing at the cute butterfly on the hard wood. "With a _star_ inside of a _butterfly!_ And two hearts, annnnd a spider!"

As she's proudly gesturing at full volume, a thick hand suddenly slams down on her table, sending her pencil flying.

Looking up, she's faced with what she initially thinks is a snarling bull. With flared nostrils, narrow reddish eyes, and hair like flames on the top of her head, the woman in front of her is super scary to look at initially. Her nose is crooked, her cheeks flabby and aged, and her glasses slightly cracked upon closer inspection.

"As you can see, class," the woman says, waling from desk to desk while snorting through her nasally voice. "Most of you have done a pathetic job."

Star realizes now that Ms Skullnick, the teacher of this class in a big purple sweater, had left a paper on her desk. Admiring it, she shows it off to Marco.

"Not me!" she says happily, "I got an 'F' for ' _Fantastic_ '!"

Marco cups a hand over his mouth so Skullnick can't hear him whisper. "Uh, that's an F for 'Fail'."

"Huh?"

Her heart drops as she looks at it again, seeing the bright red letter circled in marker.

"What? You don't have tests on Mewni?" Marco asks, bewildered.

"Uh…" Glancing from him back to the paper, she suddenly hides it under her hands and pastes on a fake smile. "So, uh, what grade did _you_ get?"

This time it's her Latino's friend to grin and show off, waving his paper with pride.

"Only the best grade you _can_ get! A-plus, _with_ a smiley face."

Her eyes grow wide, admiring the cute little doodle and obviously better paper and grade.

"Ooh," she says in awe, instantly envious. "I want the best one too!"

Slipping out of her chair, she walks up to Ms Skullnick, ignoring Marco's protests. Obviously she should've got one like his own, so simply asking the woman to change it should be no big deal!

"Oh, Miss _Skullnick,_ " Star singsongs, while the woman cracks the chalk in her hand into two. Walking right up to the growling woman, Star offers a wave confidently.

"Heeeey, Skullzie! Can you _pleaaseee_ do me a teeny favor and turn my 'F' into and 'A'?"

Skullnick's face goes red with anger, as if Star had just offended her beyond anyone's imagination. Star shrinks down a bit under the fire in the older woman's eyes.

"You're whining about a lousy grade?! I'd _finally_ got a guy with a boat, and he left me at the dock!" Spittle goes flying as the woman screams, Star shielding herself with her bad paper.

The girl blinks. "...A dock?"

" _The dock isn't the important part!_ " Skullnick yells, though Star seems unaffected. Slumping down the woman becomes downcast. "...I guess I'm doomed to dry land."

Nibbling on her wand, a lightbulb goes off in Star's head, a brilliance that matches all her other magical ideas thus far.

"I got it!" Star exclaims, spooking Skullnick. "I'll cast a spell to get you the perfect guy, and _you_ can give me the perfect grade!"

Skullnick shrinks back. "What?"

Waving her wand, Star chants into the air, giving her wand a pretty swirl through the air and summoning a glittering green glow. " _Man magnet love storm_!"

"Wait-!"

Screaming, Skullnick becomes encased in the green energy, blinding the room with magic for a few seconds before it dies down, revealing to the class just what Star's spell had done to her.

Instead of the original Skullnick they've all come to know, stood a pea-green troll woman with the same glasses and red hair as their teacher. Her teeth now jutted up over her lips in an underbite, and her nose stuck out even farther than before. Her ears were pointed almost sharp, and her shirt became tight and revealed her hairy stomach and the bright garnet jewel embedded in her belly button.

The entire class gasps in horror as Skullnick sways unsteadily on the ground, plopping on her butt and mumbling incoherently. Marco runs up behind Star, who stares at her handiwork disbelievingly.

"Star, what did you _do_?!" he cries.

"I- I- I think I turned her into a _troll,_ " she manages inaudibly into the sudden quiet.

There is an eerie silence for a moment, and then one of the boys in the class stand up and pump a fist through the air.

"Star Butterfly _rules!_ " he declares.

As if on cue, the rest of the class hurrahs in congratulations— until a wild, animalistic scream tears from Skullnick's lips as she realizes what's happened.

"I'm _hideous!_ " she screams, terrified and dancing around like a fire has been lit in her leopard print leggings.

Marco gestures wildy. "Quick, change her back!"

" _Oh,_ okay, yeah, right…" Star says, panicking a little and letting out a nervous giggle. It can't be that bad to reverse it, right? It was easy to do, so easy to _un_ do. Right?

"Yeah, right, uh… _Lightning Change Back!_ "

The glowing power that leaves her wand this time is a deep purple, but when it envelops Skullnick, it circles Star and Marco as well. All three screaming into the void, they're sucked into a vortex.

The sensation of falling is replaced by being on her feet again, and whilst her hair is mussed when Star opens her eyes, she realizes the bigger issue happens to be that they're no longer in Skullnick's classroom.

As their teacher takes one look around and starts screaming bloody murder, Star scratches her head, noting the familiar surroundings.

"Where _are_ we?" she asks.

"You just zapped us back to the house!" Marco yells at her, throwing out his hands.

"...Ooooh. I wish I knew how I did that," she says sheepishly, going for a joking tone. "It could really come in handy if I don't feel like using my legs."

Marco goes to reply, but Skullnick's unending cries of anguish drown him out, and she can only offer him a small smile and a shrug.

_...Oops._

**x.X.x.**

"...Muahahahaha!"

Peering through the window of the strange Earth home, Buffrog lowers his binoculars and grins happily.

This is good news. Great news, even! Ludo will be _most_ pleased.

Quickly opening a portal back to the castle, Buffrog jumps through and goes from the sandy Earthen land to the smooth marble of Ludo's throne room in an instant, allowing the portal to close behind him.

Straightening up, he inhales with pride.

"Ludo, Master," he says in greeting to the throne, offering the traditional salute of his people (a kiss to the first two fingers on both webbed hands). "Star Butterfly has come home from school early today, and she seems… _distracted."_

Ludo, who had been happily licking at a scoop of strawberry ice cream, pauses mid-lick at Buffrog's words.

"...Distracted?" he says, the small gears in his brain turning. "...Excellent! Excellent! This is the moment I've been waiting for. No one's at their best when they're… _distracted._ "

His scoop of ice cream falls pitifully on the cushion of his chair, and one of the nearby minions quickly puts it back on his cone before he notices. It proves futile, as he does a happy dance and then allows it to drop face-down back to the chair, discarding it happily.

"Finally. I'll get my hands on that glorious wand." His eyes take on a dreamy quality. "When it transforms, it'll match my hat. And I'll get my big-boy body!"

He can see it now. His body, tall and muscular beyond comprehension, his feet crushing Mewman houses underneath, his awesome wand shooting anything that moves. He finds himself making zapping sounds to emphasize his fantasy.

"...And, I'm a lifeguard!" He grins imagining the women on either arm, of the 'life saving' he could do for them…

"Is that CPR?" One of his minions asks, breaking him from his wonderful scene, and he realizes his lips are still puckered as if giving someone air. His cheeks grow hot.

" _Silence_!"

**.x.X.x.**

Skullnick's tears flow freely, now her only resort. Even tying her down to a chair hasn't kept her from making a mess of Star's floor.

"Please don't cry, Miss Skullnick," she pleads, as Marco places another bucket to catch what he can of her flying tears.

"Star, we can't keep stalling," he berates her, shielding himself from Skullnick's tantrum. "You're gonna have to call your mom. She'll know how to reverse the spell!"

"No!" Star grabs her cheeks in horror, already imagining the tongue lashing she'll 100% get if her mom ever gets wind of this. "I can't ask for help! If my parents find out about this, they'll send me to… _Saint Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses!_ "

She shakes her head wildly, picturing the horrible experiments and bland princesses doomed there.

"It's a terrible, horrible place and no one who goes there ever comes out the same!" she screams, the thought chilling her to her core.

As Star takes a deep breath, Marco looks at her with a frown.

"...Is it all out yet?"

"Almost!" she replies, before letting out one last horror filled yell. "Okay. I'm done."

"Look, Star, you just need to get the information without letting her know what's going on," Marco says, patting her on the shoulder reassuringly as she looks up at him. "You know. Dance around the truth."

Star blinks, before perking up. "I'm a _great_ dancer," she admits.

Cheerfully dancing her way over to her wall, she pulls the rope on the side of her magic mirror phone, revealing the ruby encrusted silver frame and her own reflection. The sight of her own face dampens her spirit again as she begins speaking to it.

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall… Call Mom," she says.

" _Calling Tom,_ " it replies.

Hot fear lances through her. Rushing forward, Star freaks out, waving her hands wildly.

Whoawhoawhoa, no no no-!

Before she can stop it, the mirror changes into a familiar scene. A flame-filled environment, and a young man standing in front of it all, looking far too happy to see her.

Bright pink hair, devil horns on either side of his forehead, and a cute grin on his face, is Tom Lucitor. Her chest tightens.

"Star!" he declares in surprise.

" _No, no_ ," she says instantly, waving a finger.

"Oh, _wait_! You're here, _I'm_ here—" He begins, but she cuts him off fast.

"I said call _Mom,_ not Tom," she shuts him down. His face falls instantly.

"No, Star, don't hang up-!" He flares, eyes turning a bright reddish-white.

She can't hit the button fast enough, shaking her head. _I've really gotta delete him off my mirror._

It redials her Mom this time, and her mother picks up relatively fast, her big blue hairdo appearing and filling the mirror's length.

"Oh, Star, darling," she smiles. "What a pleasant surprise."

Faced with her mother in the flesh (er, the glass, rather), Star grows a bit more withdrawn and nervously taps her foot against the floor.

"Sooo, Mom," she laughs, "Let's say someone accidentally turned someone into a troll with a wand. Not that I would do that, noo, because that would be completely irresponsible-"

Her mother's narrow eyes grow wide in the next second as Marco's scream fills the air. They look behind Star to see Marco running past, soaking wet.

"Star, what is going on?!" her mother demands.

"Gotta go, bye!" Star says in a rush, closing the curtains on her disgruntled mother and chasing after Marco. "What happened?!"

Marco, standing ankle deep in a river of tears and pointing at a brand new giant hole in her wall, freaks out.

"She jumped out the window!"

Grabbing Marco's hand, she tosses them both out the window after Skullnick, landing with a solid footing on the ground and running after the redheaded troll. She can't get far, still bound in rope, before Marco does a running leap and tackles her to the ground. Star follows suit and jumps over them, landing on top of both of them and grinning down at her friend.

"Wow, good job, Marco!" she says happily, patting him on the back of the head.

"' _Wow, good job, Marco,_ '" a voice mimics.

Looking up, the two are faced with a crowd of monsters staring down at them, headed by none other than the little bird guy himself, Ludo. Star seethes instantly.

"Ludo, what are you doing here?!" Star demands.

"Catching you at your most distracted!" he declares with pride.

Star blinks. "...What? I have been _way_ more distracted than this," she shakes her head.

His eyes narrow at her, scrutinizing the situation. "I don't know, you seem pretty distracted."

Folding her arms and tapping her wand on her forearm, she ponders it. "Naaah, not really."

"Oh, well… What's that over there?!" he suddenly points past her.

Panicking suddenly, she glances around. "What? Where?"

"Get her!" he screams, and she realizes she was had.

The three of them are bum rushed by Ludo's crew. Jumping off Skullnick, Star and Marco get back and go into their fighting position, protecting each other's back and running forward to meet them head on.

Doing a wide spin in the air, Star shouts, " _Dagger Crystal Heart Attack_! Feel the love!"

A broken heart cracks open in front of her wand, and a spray of sharp hearts with gemstones embedded in them rain down on her enemies.

"I'm obligated to warn you," Marco says nearby, facing off against three or four of them on his own and tying a bandana around his hair. "I'm a green belt… with a _stripe_."

One of the minions makes a fake 'ooh' sound, waving his hands as if pretending to be scared, and Marco smiles knowingly.

Picking up a rake, he twirls it in his hand and then dashes forward. Tripping up one and then landing a hit square in the multi eyes of another, he feels proud of his handiwork until from behind a beak pecks at his head, knocking the rake out of his hand as he tries to shield himself.

"Ah- ow, hey!"

Getting pecked to the ground, he manages an upper kick that sends the overgrown chicken creature toppling back. Putting himself back on his feet, he glowers at them, ready to deal a finishing blow.

That is, until a snort from behind makes him turn, and he shrinks back as a tall bull man stands over him. Pink nose ring and wide, evil grin, he punches a hand into his other fist, and rushes him.

On the other side of the battlefield, Star knocks another monster out cold, and then bites the arm of Buffrog. Avoiding getting chomped by an alligator man, she swings wide and clobbers another with her wand on the head, sending them reeling.

Spotting Marco in distress, getting pummelled by a horned monster, she turns on them and screams, " _Rainbow Blast!_ "

An arcing ray of colors and hearts send the bull flying back, and he collides hard with Miss Skullnick. The two of them skid hard against the dirt, leaving an awful trail behind, and the bull goes to help her up, mumbling in his language, before they lock eyes.

In between blasting monsters, Star happens to notice the two lovebirds gazing at each other lovingly, and she lets a little smile light up her face.

"Awwweee... " She presses a hand to her cheek to admire them, aiming her wand at another monster and Narwhal Blasting them absently.

As the bull parts from Miss Skullnick sadly to rejoin the fray, Star makes her way over to where Marco has just ninja kicked a monster out of the way.

" _Heyyy,_ Marco, you can handle this for a minute on your own, right?" she asks.

He glances at her before shrugging. "Oh yeah, no problem!"

"Cool, thanks!" she says, and leaves the slightly confused boy behind to approach Miss Skullnick, who's started trying to get away again.

"Oh, Miss _Skullnick,_ " Star sings, stopping the woman as she begins to climb the fence.

The teacher glares at her. "What?"

"See that monster over there?" Star asks, pointing to the bull across the way who's just finished tossing Marco across the yard. She turns back to Skullnick. "He thinks you're cute!"

Skullnick blushes bright red, clambering back down from the fence. "Really?! Ooh, what should I do?!"

"Wait right here," Star promises, already grinning wide. Her plan is working _great._

Running across the battlefield and ignoring Marco's cries for help, she smiles up at the bull man.

"Hey there, Monster Guy," she begins as he starts to draw his sword on her. "See that troll over there?"

He spots Skullnick across the way waving him down, and he mumbles some kind of gibberish and dashes after her. Star holds her wand to her cheek, internally cooing over how cute they look.

_See? I knew my matchmaking skills were awesome!_

"Star!"

Her attention is drawn back to Marco, and she realizes that the fight hasn't stopped around her, and he seems to be in a bit of a bind, running from an angry crowd of monsters

_Ah, right. Better finish this up._

Grinning, Star holds up her wand, waving it in front of their eyes. Time to get back into this.

"Hey, guys? I think you forgot something!" she calls out to them with a smile, her wand already coalescing with neon yellow magic.

Ludo, buried in the crowd, resurfaces to point at her. "She's right, get the wand!"

Having drawn their attention and with at least twenty monsters barreling at her at top speed, Star has nothing but a self-satisfied grin on her face. Her energy flashes colors, settling on a bright pink.

" _Turbo Nuclear Butterfly Blast!_ "

"Not again!" Ludo yells, but it's too late.

A beautiful, shimmering white butterfly appears from her wand emblem, and rays of pure magical energy shoot out to coat the world around her. A whirling rainbow vortex spouts over her, and her beautiful blonde hair swirls along her shoulders as the monsters scream.

A strong wave of butterfly magic rocks the world for a moment, and when it's over, there's not a single monster left standing. In fact, the entire yard they've been standing in is faintly on fire, with little fires here and there and the fences around them scorched beyond repair. She stares around in shock, not actually having expected her spell to be so powerful.

"Whooooaaaa-hohohohoh!" Star says happily, pumping her fist through the air as Marco, covered in little brightly colored butterflies, gazes at her in disbelief.

Ludo, barely recovering and covered in soot from head to toe, makes his way to the nearest monster, slapping at their face and pulling on their ruined shirt. "Get up! Get _up_!"

He feels Star's shadow looming over him, and she watches him drop the guy's lifeless body to the floor. She smacks her wand into her hand, pleased.

"I told you I wasn't distract- wait. Did I just kill that guy?" she says, suddenly worried.

"No!" Ludo yells at her. "He's not dead. He's probably just bleeding internally and being a total _baby_ about it. " He gives his minion a kick for good measure.

Storming over to an empty space, he rips his dimensional scissors out of some crevice of his clothes and opens a small portal, shouting behind him with frustration.

"Get up, you dipsticks!"

All around them, the monsters pick their battered bodies up off the floor, each one worn out and clearly defeated. As Star and Marco watch them march to the portal, Skullnick's voice rings out behind them.

"Oooh, you're so _muscle-y_ ," she coos to her new bull boyfriend. Marco cringes back in distastes, but Star is more than happy to see the new happy couple arm in arm, with Skullnick looking lovingly up at her dashing new love.

Twirling her wand, Star smiles at Miss Skullnick. "Sooo, now that I hooked you up, how about that 'A'?"

Skullnick's underbite parts into a smile. "Honey, _please_. I'd give you an A-plus if I was still a teacher. I'm setting sail with Captain Triceps here."

Star's mouth gapes open, her heart sinking as Skullnick walks off with her monster boyfriend. She can hardly believe her ears.

"Wait, what about my 'A'?" she calls out, not understanding.

Skullnick glances over her thick shoulder, shrugging. "Try _studying._ "

Marco takes stock of Star's disappointment, and decides to add a comedic 'wah, wah' sound effect to it, which for the first time, Star doesn't find nearly as funny.

...Aww.

**.x.X.x.**

"Sooo, anyway, long story short, Skullnick ran off with this weird man-bull-thing to another dimension, and now she's gone forever!"

Star regales her classmates with the story the next day, swinging her feet from the top of her desk while everyone in the room stares at her with bewilderment and awe of their own. The boy from yesterday stands up again as she wraps up her tale.

"Star Butterfly _rules!_ " he yells, and the class joins in, everyone crowding around her desk and even shoving Marco away so they can dogpile her with questions.

"Wow, Star, that is so rad, girl," Jackie Lynn Thomas even says to her. Star looks at her and smiles, before casting a glance Marco's way where he's dejectedly leaning on his desk.

"Thanks, but actually it's Marco who deserves all the credit," Star says, jumping up to grab his arm. Before he can protest, she drags him into the center of her circle, and he turns a light shade of red at being so close to Jackie.

"Really?" The girl says, looking up at him admirably. "That's awesome."

He goes even brighter crimson, offering a nervous laugh as the students around them congratulate him and cheer. He looks to Star, and she places a hand on his shoulder. They exchange a look, and she can see the appreciation in his brown eyes.

 _Yep,_ she decides. _It really does feel good to matchmake._

A suddenly glowing light draws the attention of everyone in the room. Above Skullnick's old desk, a nasty sewage-colored portal opens up, and a green and purple ball falls out of it with a loud crash and scream, destroying the desk into pieces.

"M-Miss Skullnick?!" Marco exclaims, horrified to see that same leopard print again.

"He dumped me, I think," the old teacher growls. "I don't know. I couldn't understand what he was saying!"

She lifts herself up out of the rubble, pieces of wood falling off her ruffled clothes. Star awkwardly waves to the teacher.

"...Welcome back, Skullzers," she says, trying for a light tone.

Skullnick whirls around, and a fire unlike any has seen reigns over the woman's face as she points at the crowd of students.

"Get ready for the _worst_ pop quiz of your _lives!_ "

"Oh, man! No way…!" Their classmates retreat forlornly to their desks, even Jackie casting a glance at Marco and rolling her eyes to sit back down, and Marco lifts a hand as if to stop her before sadly dropping it back to his side.

Marco falls into his seat, and Star, feeling guilty, leans in to whisper to him. "Sorry, Marco. I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of Jackie," she apologizes.

She doesn't expect when he turns to her with eyes lit up like Stump Day lights, shining with newfound hope.

"Are you kidding? That's the most she's ever talked to me!" he says excitedly.

She gasps, before feeling her heart lift up out of happiness for her best friend. Maybe everything's not so goofed up after all!

"Then that means I'm even _better_ at matchmaking than I am at magic!" Star declares.

She quiets as her wand accidentally goes off again, and Marco's face gets sprayed with a ray of magic that turns his hair into butterfly wings. She winces.

Well, maybe it might need a bit more work.


End file.
